Good morning. This has been the most difficult period of time that I have had in many years, and there have been few positives for the past few weeks. I am still feeling low as I write this, and I'm normally a pretty positive and confident person. Though, I suppose that everyone has their times where they feel sad or depressed, but I cannot seem to get out of the rut of these feelings. In short, March did not start well; its first day fell on a Friday. Two things happened on that day. The first is that my grandfather passed away on that day. The second is that the project that I was on for the past fifteen months and which was meant to continue ended rather quickly.
Covent Garden flowers
My grandfather would have been 98 in August. He was a hard-working farmer for part of his life but also worked in a printing factory that made calendars and also worked in another factory that made china. He was also a war hero, and he didn't have a good memory, but I gathered from his conversations that he worked as a typist and administrator for hospital surgeries during World War 2 in Europe. Naples is one of the places where he was stationed. He also enjoyed finding native American tools and arrowheads, which are scattered throughout the area I grew up, so we had that in common. Although he was very old, he was in good health, so it was a bit of a shock. I last saw him at the end of October, and I expected to see him again.
Earlier on that same day, I had finished my freelance contract job. All of us on the project were not told until the week before that the client did not re-sign their contract and were going to use a new agency for further work, so we were all to be let go. When I first took the role a little over a year ago, we were told that there was three years' worth of work. I was promised a long-term contract; they originally wanted me to go permanent, which I am glad I declined then as it would have ended the same for me. I even cut my rates that had already been agreed up front, but they promised that the role was a long-term one. However, all of the eggs were in the one basket, and the fall-out it impacted us all with permanent and freelance staff being let go.
We (the team) worked very hard on the project to deliver to unrealistic deadlines. I know that I was burnt out from the long hours of the role, and at times, the others said the same. So, coming out of that disappointment, exhaustion, and sad times with my grandfather passing away, I've been trying to find a new role.
The issue is that the job market is stagnant at the moment. I actually had a really good interview near the beginning of the month. It ended up being a two-stage interview, and I did the final stage the day after my grandfather's funeral. I could not physically go to the funeral because of the timing of everything. I was told that they wanted me to start on Monday and bought a new laptop on the way home so that I could be ready. However, when I arrived home and waited for the paperwork to be sorted, I was told that the role had fallen through for some reason, and the agent and I could not find out the reason. Obviously, that hurt my confidence further, as I'd already had a very tough week.
I have had so many discussions and interviews, but the job market is stagnant. I'm waiting for feedback or for budgets to be assigned for the other roles I have interviewed for. I've never had to wait this long, and it has been a very frustrating and exhausting time for me.
So, life has been less than kind at the moment. I'm hoping that my luck now changes as I feel completely trapped and directionless. Even the weather this month does not seem to want to warm up and become spring-like, although I think we are all ready and waiting for spring flowers and warmer weather.
I really need a bit of good luck and good vibes here.
Leave a comment