I am not sure where to begin on this one. To put it bluntly, the year has not started out the best. You may remember my last update when I mentioned about the job that I enjoyed pulling redundancies, and they did not treat me well at all at the end. The job that I started toward the end of last year has been extremely busy and less than enjoyable, and I've got another few months of the very long probation period to get through. I'd hardly left the house, and I could feel my mental health suffering on some days. Additionally, I had some other bad news today. My grandmother passed away today; she was my last living grandparent, and she would have been 98 in April.
I had hoped to get over to "home" before anything like this happened. I was too late. Pre-2020, I was over-worked and did not take breaks for a few years. Then 2019 was a year I had a rolling monthly contract, and they extended me for six weeks just before Thanksgiving. (I had planned to go "home" for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but they needed me and I wasn't sure when my next job would be, so I cancelled those plans.) In mid-December, I'd just secured a permanent job that I interviewed for in the autumn of 2019, so I decided to hold off my travel plans until 2020. I wanted to start the new role as soon as possible to work my three-month probation then plan my travel and make up for the lost time. Unfortumately, the pandemic happened six weeks after I started. Then, of course, there were travel restrictions and mess. Then, of course, it was my role being made redundant and having to start a new role with a 6-month probation. I am still working that probation.
In short, I feel that past employers and the pandemic has cheated me.
It is not a good feeling. All of these things have happened beyond my control. It is not good for mental health.
Grandma was very opinionated, set in old ways, and that caused some clashing. I always worked very hard. I would help her at the family market and farmer's market from a very young age. I was always a hard-worker, and many times I'd set up everything myself while she talked to other people and caught up on the news. She loved to talk. Then there was favouritism shown toward my cousins when they were born after I was around eleven years of age. Just stupid stuff. I'd been put to work every time I went to her house or to the market. The new cousins were allowed to do anything; they were allowed to make a mess and not clean up, and then I had to clean up after them. With me and my brothers, we were told "children are to be seen and not heard", but with the cousins, they were out doing the things we were forbidden from. Then there was the Christmas times. My brothers and I were given clothes and spelling and math books. We never got toys, but the cousins were being swamped with all types of toys. Then there were the comments. I'd had my cat Bells from the day he was born on March 13, 1988. I was nine years of age. My cousin, who was born in 1989, liked to go over to my house and see Bells, so she named her cat after mine. My grandmother tried to say my cousin had the name first; she knew it wasn't true but she was making a stupid comment which annoyed me (and my parents). Then there was the birthday gift she gave me for "contact lenses", which I didn't wear and did not want to start; I wore glasses. I told her I did not want them because I have a phobia of things near my eyes. I never did get a birthday gift; they actually stopped with the coming of the cousins. Generally, there was a bit of snobbery about religion, alcohol, and other cultures too, which I think is a factor of that generation. While I feel that having a glass of wine or cocktails is acceptable from time to time, she was against it completely.
Perhaps the reasoning for my (and my brothers') different treatment was down to my father, the third-born child, not being the favourite. I really do not know. It's always been a bit strange, but then I think everyone's family can be a bit fracked up sometimes.
I worked with her quite a lot at the farmer's market and market, but she never treated me as a child. When I was in middle school and high school, I would often get a ride back with her. We had a strange bus route. We had to get up extra early in the morning and were the first people on the school bus; but, we were then the last ones off in the evening because the bus started the route on the opposite direction. So, I would walk to the elementary school where she was a teacher. I would stop at a little cafe that sold candy and would buy a couple of items to have on my walk to the school. I would then help my grandmother. Sometimes, she would have me take one of the children and go over flash cards of spelling and reading. Sometimes, I would read to them or have them read to me from a book. These were children that needed some extra time spent with reading, writing, and spelling. There was probably an hour to an hour and a half of this each day.
She (and the two aunts on that side of the family) wanted me to become a teacher. I would never have been happy doing that, and I am glad that I did not get pressured by them into doing that. I think teachers do not get enough credit and are often considered child care by some some bad parents. One of my best friends got into teaching, and she really regrets it.
Originally, this post was a re-cap with some unblogged activities and storms. We had high winds for a few days and then two separate storms only days apart. Storm Eunice was the worst one, and it took down a tree on the road and a tile off the roof. Storm Franklin took place days later.
In terms of unblogged stuff, I had drinks a few times with neighbours. We had drinks a couple of times at a local bar/restaurant that makes amazing cocktails. We also had drinks around each other's houses. I ordered Tapped! cocktails, and we had a bunch of those and a bottle of Prosecco. The neighbour and I went to Shoreditch to watch "There's Something About Mary" playing at a hotel cinema at Shoreditch Courthouse. We had some drinks before and afterwards. I took her to one of my favourite's - Monty's Bar.
The bloke and I had a couple of Sunday roasts out. We tried The Pomeroy at Amersham, and the roast was delicious.
I also had to go to a funeral in late January. It was the funeral of the oldest resident on the street, who lived in the house from when he was only seven years old! He passed away in his mid-90s in mid-December, and his only living relative is an older lady in Leicestershire, and she was unable to get to the funeral. Luckily, we do have a social street, so he had a large amount of people at the service. A photograph of the flower arrangement is below.
Today had also brought more bad news in the form of war with Russia attacking the Ukraine. So, I hope that it gets better in 2022. It just has not started out very well. Overall, the past several months have been unkind now. I hope it does not get worse. Please get better.
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