Hello, readers. I hope that you have all had a good year. I, for one, am glad to see the end of 2021. This year has not been a good year to me, and it was worse than 2020. I went into the year with hope and positive feelings that 2021 would bring improvements and stability, but for me, 2021 has upset my world. A few weeks into the year, something just felt "out of alignment" for me, and things quickly got worse. I felt that I could not get ahead, and so many things were a set-back with me. I have had the worst of times again, and I really do not know why, despite keeping positive and hopeful (until it came all too much). I really do not know what to say other than that I am feeling lost. I am feeling trapped in some limbo cycle that has been continuing for a few years now. I do not know how to break from that path, and I feel that I cannot control it, despite my best efforts. Working hard and supporting or giving to others has not worked in my favour. Despite all of that, I did manage to enjoy some things, so that will be my focus!
January: We started off the year in a continuation of total lockdown. All non-essential shops and all hospitality sectors were shut since last October, and they would continue to be shut until early July with everything reopening in August. On New Year's Day, I took a trip over to Canary Wharf to see the new light illuminations, "Connected by Light" that was taking place this year in place of the annual "Winter Lights" before new stricter lockdown measures were enforced.
I busied my time at work, which I was enjoying more since the agency controlling it was finally gone and we started to make plans. My workplace allowed half-day Fridays, so I made the most of my time getting out of the house and taking walks. Over the next few weeks, I would come to learn about some lovely places on my doorstep to enjoy; I'd lived here for just over five years and had not had the chance to explore them yet! Eactcote House Gardens, Ruislip Woods, and the Celandine Way were three places that I went to explore for the first time. Since we were in lockdown, the footpaths were all so muddy due to everyone going out to walk for their exercise; I fell over on my walks a few times but did not let that stop me. The remains of the Battle of Britain House in Ruislip Woods was one of my little Friday lunchtime walks.
The highlight of the month was the snow day that we had toward the end of the month. I don't like snow, but it is a novelty here. The snow fell on a Sunday morning, and I took a walk around the area to get photographs. So many people (as long as they were able and not working) seemed to be outside and playing in the snow with their families. Parks and front gardens were filled with snowmen and giant snowballs.
February: February was a continuation of walks and watching the first signs of spring emerge (Snowdrops in Ruislip). I was content, and I finally felt as though I had some form of balance and stability in my life; I was looking forward to the end of the lockdowns when I could start to enjoy life fully. I also started the process of closing my freelancing company as I felt that this chapter in my life was now behind me and thought that I had the stable job that I'd longed for.
The middle of the month brought Valentine's Day and Pancake Day virtually back-to-back, and this was followed a couple of days later by my first vaccine appointment for protecting me against COVID-19. On Valentine's Day weekend, I took a tube journey into east London to walk around and see street art, and I enjoyed a take-away Valentine's Day treat from HumbleCrumble (read about other Valentine's Day London desserts.) Lockdown Pancake Day was not the most exciting this year since dining out was not an option and most restaurants were shut. I made pancakes at home, but they looked like cow patties after I put chocolate spread on them! A couple of days later, I had my first vaccine appointment; this gave me some hope about getting back to life.
The end of the month brought a few sunny and warm days, and I was enjoying the signs of spring on my walks around the area, particularly Eastcote House gardens (read my post about signs of spring around Ruislip and Eastcote). One day that I remember particularly well was the first (or one of the first) proper warm day of the year on the last Friday of the month. I had walked to Eastcote House and discovered amazing crocuses in full bloom nearby; I had a long wander and felt amazing. I was full of hope and looking forward to the future.
March: For the past three or four years, I've got to add that March is not a good month to me. Last year, it was the lockdown. Before that, it was issues with contracts or mortgages or being messed around by something that I have no control over. It just has not been a very good month for me for the past few years. Unfortunately, the bad trend continued this year. The "Ides of March" was the lockdown last year, and this year brought trouble at work. We were told that top management were looking to replace the framework at work, and this happened just as I had felt started to feel settled with job security and had started the process to close my freelancing company. We were told that no one would be made redundant. I was worried, and I left that meeting crying my eyes out to a friend. I just feel that I cannot "catch my breath." Also, I thought that I had found the company I wanted to grow with, but they later turned out to treat me poorly and based on what I saw from others and experienced, they do not wish to invest in people (nor realise that they actually do need my skills and skills of others, but these things are always coming from the clueless top management).
I struggled throughout March due to the news. The most positive aspect of March was the "postbox toppers"; essentially, several postboxes in the area were yarn-bombed with spring and Easter themes (Postboxes in Ruislip and Eastcote have been Yarn-bombed). I had fun finding these. Yarn-bombing and crafts have experienced a boom during the lockdowns.
At the end of the month, I had to take a couple of days of annual leave or lose it. Since we were still in lockdown, I did not have many options, but we had a couple of days of glorious weather, so I took advantage of that. On the first day, I walked across Ickenham Marsh and then picked up the Celandine Route trail from Swakeley's Park to Ruislip. It was a long walk, but I really enjoyed it and found some great areas to visit.
The day after the long walk, I had a more relaxing day. I ordered a takeaway afternoon tea (since we were still in lockdown) from Foodie Wuwdies in Pinner and had a quiet day in with a bottle of Prosecco, jazz and swing music, and not as nice weather as the previous day but offered a chance to relax. On one of the Fridays in March, I'd also walked to Pinner on a beautiful day, and it was full lockdown but so many people were out in the park; I listened to a good musician who was singing and playing a guitar on a park bench near the aviary in the park.
April: Easter was at the beginning of the month, and restrictions eased slightly so I could see the bloke's brother and his family in Bournemouth. They'd had a new baby right born around Christmas to meet, but I was unable to meet them due to the restrictions, and the last time I had actually visited them was in January of last year. We visited Hengitsbury Head in Dorset and had a walk around on a lovely sunny day. Due to the lockdowns, I was not used to walking (or leaving the house much) and suffered some blisters on my heels after a short walk.
Then more trouble came. I was stalked! Late at night on Easter night and the early morning, a group of local youths broke into the cricket ground and caused expensive damage there. I was doing some community social media work from October of the previous year. On one of the social media groups, I was targeted because a member had posted images and video of a huge group of intoxicated people (which turned out to be youths of various ages but some of them not legally adults) damaging the property. I was stalked online with a threatening letter put through my door because of this. This actually caused me issues with my mental health and anxiety. The mother in question should have been angry with her daughter and not me; if your teenager is out at 3:00am, then that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the parent or guardian. Regarding social media and online, I had always been very careful and never shared my personal details online as I have been a bit paranoid before about what is on social media. Unfortunately, I have an uncommon name that I was also using for my social media (because why wouldn't you use your real name so your connections know who you are?), so I had to make changes to that. Then, you start to think about identity and how it impacts your friends and family, and it ended up being a vicious cycle. After this incident, I locked a lot of things down and am still paranoid.
Throughout April, I continued almost-weekly visits to Eastcote House Gardens, and mid-April was my favourite time here. The gardens were stunning with a mixture of colourful tulips and spring blossom.
Toward the end of the month, a few restrictions were lifted and some places could reopen. I visited Emmett's Garden in Kent and discovered a carpet of bluebells. I did not realise that Emmett's Garden is one of the best places to see the bluebells in the south of England. I also saw bluebells at Hatchlands, which probably had the largest display that I discovered this year, and Cliveden (visited for the beautiful daffodil display and separately for the bluebells), Ruislip Woods, and Bayhurst Woods in Ruislip.
May: In May, galleries were allowed to reopen, and I was happy to be one of the few who was able to view Lucy Sparrow's Bourdon Street Chemist at the beginning of the month. I previously visited her first exhibition near Columbia Road market several years ago. All of the items are made from felt. In this case, it was a pharmacy (or chemist).
Toward the end of the month, theatre performances were allowed to reopen at limited capacity, and I visited the "War of the Worlds" Immersive Experience for my second time after a couple of years. Getting back to live events and performances was an amazing feeling. Our expeirence felt a bit rushed with technical issues, unfortunately.
Since I was unable to use much of my annual leave last year, I carried as much as I could over and had to use it throughout the year. I had some time out to take advantage of the warmer weather to visit National Trust properties. A few of the places that I visited included Lacock Village and Fox-Talbot Museum, Lacock Abbey, Great Chalfield Manor, Westwood Manor, and Petworth.
At the end of May, the bloke and I had our first mini-break away from home: Derby. We went to visit museums and to see the Derby Ram Trail. The Ram Trail was my first of several charity sculpture trails this year. Other places we visited on this long weekend included Calke Abbey, Derby Museums, and Katherine's Cafe and Gifts. Katherine's had the best cookie sandwiches, and I wish there was a branch close to me in London! They also make amazing "unicorn" hot chocolate or milkshakes. After so long of not being out of the house much, going away for a weekend was a new experience.
June: Warm weather continued at the start of June, and the bloke and I headed to Southampton to visit the Elephant Parade, the second sculpture trail I saw this year, and Medieval Merchant's House, an English Heritage historical museum. We had an enjoyable day, and nice weather always helps make life more enjoyable.
The European Cup football games also started this month, and we had a few street parties to coincide with the games and decorated the street and houses with flags. We had BBQs and plenty of drinks and set up space outside with televisions to watch the games.
June is my birthday month, and it was a semi-lockdown birthday for me. I ordered a large sheet cake from Costco and had drinks with neighbours on the day as everything was still largely closed. This birthday was not a total lockdown like it was last year because we had a few freedoms, but reduced-capacity dining was available again from mid-June. I booked Bottomless Champagne Afternoon Tea at Rubens at the Palace to celebrate my birthday a week later, and I enjoyed being able to dine out again and enjoy afternoon tea.
The end of the month took me to Maidstone in Kent to see another charity sculpture trail, Elmer's Big Heart of Kent Sculpture Trail. It required a full day of walking, and some of the sculptures required a car to get to. The bloke and I walked to the majority of them, even though there were large gaps between many of the sculptures. Before leaving Maidstone, we visited National Trust's Stoneacre, which I thought was a beautiful house and gardens.
July: July was a busy month, and the country was starting to reopen more venues and lift more restrictions. I had three overnight breaks this month to begin to use my annual leave. The first overnight trip was to Cambridge, and I explored the city's museums and attractions on my own at the beginning of the month. I completed another sculpture trail, Cows of Cambridge Sculpture Trail, and I also visited the Dinky Doors miniature doors around the city. I visited several museums and other attractions, and these are detailed here: Exploring Cambridge and Punting on the River Cam.
In the middle of the month, the bloke and I had a long weekend in Northumberland. We stayed for one night at the previous inn that we visited last August and visited Segedunum Roman Fort near Newcastle and a few National Trust and English Heritage properties (such as Belsay Hall and Brinkburn Priory). The additional nights were spent in a bed and breakfast in Alnwick, and one of the best meals that I enjoyed this year was a late lunch at The Treehouse at Alnwick Gardens. I visited the castle, gardens, the largest second-hand bookstore (Barter Books), and other attractions in Alnwick (What to See and Do in Alnwick).
Readers may recognise Alnwick Castle as it was used for filming "Harry Potter". The castle does have a lot of Harry Potter exhibitions and a tour, and the photograph below was where the students learned broom skills. The castle today does offer broomstick flying lessons for children in the same location.
Another highlight of this long weekend break was a visit to the Farne Islands and Inner Farne to walk amongst sea birds and puffins. This was such an amazing trip, and it included about an hour of sailing around the islands to look at sea birds and seals. We had an hour to spend on the island, which included raised walkways so we did not disturb nesting birds. The baby puffins were just about to emerge from holes in the ground, but we only saw a couple of heads poking out of the holes and a few bodies of those that emerged too early and did not make it. The return trip went much quicker because we got soaked by the rain in the boat for the last half hour on the way back to the mainland.
Although the summer was largely a washout, we had a few sunny days here and there. We took off some time to visit some National Trust properties to make the most of our membership. These properties included Baddesley Clinton, Packwood House, Biddulph Grange, Coughton Court, and Moseley Old Hall.
At the end of July, we had another long weekend away for our ten-year anniversary. This time we went to Dumfries and Galloway in Scotland. I had originally wanted to visit the Isle of Skye, but it was booked up a few months in advance. On the way up to Dumfries and Galloway, we stopped off at Carlisle for one night and enjoyed one of the best meals that I have had this year at David's Restaurant. We struggled to find places to eat in Scotland, and the country still had strict distancing measures in place during our visit.
Unfortunately, Scotland still had stricter pandemic restrictions than England, so we did not get to see many attractions here due to the large majority remaining shut. We were able to visit Buittle Castle, which was the highlight of the trip. We also visited Threave Garden, Castle Kennedy Gardens, several distilleries, and a couple stone circles/cairns. I will be posting some of these places in the coming weeks.
August: I wanted to lay low for August as July had been busy, and August usually suffers from poor weather anyway. I also expected that families eager for time away would cause a surge in domestic travel with a shortage of accommodation, so I decided to avoid expensive overnight stays. On a warm Friday, I took the tube across London and a train to Southend-on-Sea where I saw the "Hares About Town" sculpture trail, lovely gardens, and the pier. I did not realise that Southend-on-Sea's pier was over a mile long. I took the train out on it as I did not want to stay out too long, and a train on a pier was a novelty for me. Visitors can also walk the pier, and I nearly did as I did not realise how long it was, so I am so glad that I booked the train for the return journey on the pier.
Then things got worse. I received the bad news at the end of the month - one day before I started three long weekends of holidays, as if that was not harsh enough. I learned that my role was actually being made redundant (we were lied to in mid-March) at the company that I really enjoyed, and I had only just started to feel a sense of stability early in the year. What is even harsher is that most of the pandemic restrictions had just been lifted (but we are still in a pandemic).
This news was the first catalyst for the anxiety and depression that would follow me through following weeks and months. It occupied my mind heavily, and I could not find any enjoyment in anything. I tried, but it was there in my thoughts like a shadow over everything.
That brings me onto the holiday at the end of the month, a day before I was told of the redundancy. It was a last minute plan as a friend contacted me a month prior to go and do something, and we were scheduled to do Leicester and then York. I would not have done anything otherwise. I'd booked my hotel room, and the friend cancelled on me saying he had had the wrong dates in the calendar (dates I told him in advance that I could not do), so I went to Leicester by myself as I'd already made my plans. I visited the Rocket Around Leicester sculpture trail, the National Space Centre, the Richard II museum, abbey ruins, and other museums. There are enough things to do and see for a couple of days should you find yourself in Leicester. The best thing was the farting alien sculpture in front of the Victorian sewage pumping station, and thinking about that makes me laugh. (I'll be adding posts in the coming weeks for unblogged Leicester!)
The highlight of the month for me was the visit to Worcester for one night over the bank holiday at the end of the month. I had fun exploring the beautiful city in the sunshine locating elephant sculptures on the Worcester Big Elephant Parade, yet another sculpture trail. I enjoyed a good breakfast and dinner at The Cosy Club, which was another one of the best restaurants that I ate in this year. While in the area and travelling around it, we visited a few National Trust properties: Brockhampton, Croome, and The Firs. This was only one night away and booked at short notice because I just needed to get my mind off everything.
September: September brought two more long weekends of holiday, but my mind was really struggling. September and October is normally my favourite time of the year, and I had been looking forward to my trip to Ilfracombe all year. It was the first holiday that I booked, and I booked it at the start of the year. To be honest, I could not concenrate on anything this month and found life a struggle. I guess the best way to describe it is "going through the motions".
Now another piece of bad news. I had originally booked my accommodation in Ilfracombe at the start of the year, and it was scheduled to be the first weekend of the month, but the bed and breakfast that I had booked at had decided to sell it with less than a month's notice to my reservation. (Their sale ended up falling through, so I was able to re-book for the weekend after my original booking as my original dates were not available.) Talk about hassle and having to re-book attractions and restaurants! During the days that I was meant to be in Ilfracombe but was let down by the accommodation, I'd decided to book up a budget hotel for two nights in Suffolk to visit a variety of different attractions: Audley End House, Sutton Hoo, Melford Hall, Ickworth, Landguard Fort, a few other heritage properties, and a quick visit to Norwich Cathedral to see Dippy the Dinosaur and GoGo Discover Dinosaurs trail. (Of course, the weather was nicer for the original weekend that I was scheduled to be in Ilfracombe, and nice weather does make a world of difference.)
All of these attractions are very different. Audley End House is a huge 17th century Jacobean mansion with grounds. Sutton Hoo is a series of burial mounds dating from about 2,000 years ago, and there is a museum about the discovered items and the burial. Melford Hall is a manor house that is famously associated with Beatrix Potter, the creator of "Peter Rabbit" and other characters, who stayed there, so there are various items related to her. Ickworth is an Italian-style mansion with extensive grounds and a few pieces of art on display inside the mansion. Landguard Fort is a port fort at Felixstowe and has a history from the 1600s through the Cold War. There are mazes of rooms to discover, and it is rich in history. It ended up being my favourite attraction that I visited on this trip.
As previously mentioned, the Ilfracombe trip was put back to the following weekend, which was then the middle of the month. My mind was very anxious due to the work situation and, on top of that, the bloke was complaining because he did not want to visit Lundy island because he did not want to walk around and wanted to watch the Formula 1! I'd already booked Lundy months ago, so he was aware. So, the stress was getting to me and making me extremely depressed. I was at a really low point. I had been looking forward to Ilfracombe all year, and the trip was already plagued by the accommodation informing me just shy of a month before my visit that they had to change my booking. This week and the next several weeks were amongst my lowest points.
Lundy island, which is a few miles off of the main coast, was the highlight of the visit to Devon and Ilfracombe. The weather was overcast and not too cold nor warm, and I found a few letterboxes. I will have to return to discover the others. I just wish that the bloke had not kept complaining as it really wore me down when I was already at a low, and this made everything worse and meant that I did not have a great time. I was already mentally and then physically exhausted with my life.
I also visited some National Trust and English Heritage properties on the Ilfracombe visit. I visited Knightshayes, a Victorian mansion with a lovely garden and fresh flowers in the rooms. I also visited Monacute, an Elizabethan mansion, and the ruins of a monastary called Muchelney Abbey. The abbey's highlights include the intact outhouse (which is a rare example surviving today) and one of the buildings of the complex. I also visited the beautiful property Lytes Cary, which is a home dating back to the middle ages. Sherborne Old Castle and Arlignton Court were additional attractions that I visited during this trip. Arlington Court house was not fully open, but we could look around a couple of rooms on the ground floor and explore the gardens and the carriage museum. (More posts will be published about some of these places in the coming weeks.)
Before leaving Ilfracombe, I spent the majority of one of the days exploring Lynton and Lynmouth. The weather was not great during the majority of the trip, as I mentioned, and this was one of the wettest of the days; the other wet day, we actually did something in the morning then went back to the bed and breakfast. We walked around a couple of the attractions and took a ride up the Cliff Railway and had lunch (afternoon tea) on top. I still want to walk from the Valley of Rocks as I enjoyed this walk a year ago. There is a pathway into the town from the trail.
October: October is another month that has not been kind to me in recent years, especially when it comes to work. In the middle of October, the redundancy came through, firmly cementing the chapter of my time at the company. At the same time, an aunt and a series of friends were lost to COVID with additional friends and family in hospital or very ill with COVID. With this sudden bombardment and the past several weeks of emotional exhaustion (also not helped by the bloke), my mental health deteriorated. I was emotionally and mentally exhausted, and my mind was in the darkest place. Not only that, but I was really screwed over by that company, but I cannot go into details about that here. It ended up being a really bad place to work and not the company that I thought it was, and that really affected me because I had put in so much effort and went above and beyond. Everything just crashed down on me.
Before the August announcement, I had been planning to book a spa visit to use up some of my annual leave and to actually unwind for once as I do tend to pack a lot in to my breaks. I was planning to do this in late October as there were some Halloween-themed specials that enticed me. I've never ever been to a spa nor treated myself. I planned to take a few books and enjoy some down-time. Unfortunately, this plan was canned. I was glad that I had actually not booked it as I would have been unable to relax.
At the start of October, I visited the Gratitude Sculptures in Southwark Cathedral. These have been painted to raise charity for NHS charities. All of the sculptures were placed around the cathedral in a socially-distanced group. I met another person in the queue who also visits a lot of these sculpture trails.
Toward the end of the month, a few neighbours and I had a girl's bottomless brunch (Bottomless Brunch at Arens in Ruislip), and then we had drinks at another neighbour's house when we returned home. We hope to arrange more of these in coming months. It was really fun and what I needed.
I also went into London to see Little Amal at St. Paul's Cathedral. Little Amal (although you could hardly describe her as little) is a puppet of a refugee girl that is helping to raise awareness of the innocent people displaced by conflicts. She is constructed by the team responsible for the "War Horse" theatre performance, and she had a couple of days at various locations across London and then at other locations in the country.
October is Halloween month, and I normally love Halloween, but I could not get into it at all this year due to everything bad going on. I did visit London to get some photographs of Halloween-themed decorations and treats one weekend in order to get my mind off everything else that was going on (see post). I was in a low place.
November: I continued to struggle with my mental health this month. I tried to focus on positivity. I tried to get out to keep my mind off things, and other days, I felt like doing nothing at all except sleeping. I had my booster shot at the beginning of the month, and it and a combination of everything else going on (mental exhaustion) knocked me out for two days. I just slept solidly through those two days.
I visited a friend in Poole to have a chat, and going to visit and chat to friends and family during this time was much-needed medicine. We went out to a pub for lunch and then had a long wander around Kingston Lacy, her nearest National Trust property (Autumn Colour at Kingston Lacy). This was actually on Diwali, and I returned home just in time to have a quick street party celebration with neighbours who were celebrating and provided Indian sweets and a few fireworks. The day after Diwali was Guy Fawkes Day (Bonfire Night). Since we were not locked down this year, I was able to see a fireworks display on Bonfire Night. There were three nights of fireworks with Diwali taking place the day before and the Saturday after Bonfire Night being a prime time for other local and personal displays to take place.
I went into the office for a final time in mid-November. I had been in the office for five days in total to see colleagues and the new office as the company had moved to Nine Elms during the pandemic, and I also got to use the new tube station at Nine Elms soon after it opened in the autumn. I started a new job the following week without a break between them. I hope that the new employer treats me well. (More about the story can be read here: Unblogged Summer and Autumn, Difficult Times.)
Also in mid-November, I tried to keep my mind occupied by visiting the Country Living Christmas Fair; I paid for the VIP ticket, and that allowed me to have a place to sit and relax, exclusive storage for my shopping and coat, and Prosecco throughout the day. It was really worth paying extra for this. There was so much to see, and I spent the day at the fair and managed to see most of it. Because of the bottomless booze, this was actually a few hours where I was able to force my mind not to think.
Also in the middle of the month was my visit to the Lord Mayor's Day Parade, a London event that I'd been wanting to visit the past few years before the pandemic. The parade's origins date back to over 800 years old, and it is a celebration in the City of London with different livery companies, charities, and political figures parading down the streets from Mansion House to Trafalgar Square and back again. The last several floats in the parade feature horses and horse-drawn carriages with the important people, including the new mayor of the City of London in the ceremonial golden chariot and driven by the finest horses.
The day after this parade, I went to Penge to join in on a free street art tour organised by London Calling. The organiser had started to organise street artists to paint in Penge a few years ago. As the street art is managed here with individuals and businesses that have donated walls, the street art manages to remain relatively safe from tagging, a problem that east London has been experiencing for the past few years now. I've yet to post my photographs from that day.
See what I am doing here? Keeping myself busy is a coping mechanism for me.
I normally look forward to Thanksgiving Day each year as it is my favourite holiday, but the past months had been too depressing, and my mind just was not really in it much. Thanksgiving Day was a muted affair this year, and I did not really celebrate except for dinner in the evening at a pub. My mind just was not in it this year due to everything going on. I'd also just started the new job the previous week.
At the end of the month, I took the tube into London with a couple of neighbours to have cocktails at Miracle at Henreitta, the Christmas cocktail pop-up bar.
The bloke and I also had a day off to visit Silverstone's "Lap of Lights". We went last year (it was re-branded this year), and he wanted to go again this year. Last year, he purchased a combination ticket that included Silverstone museum tickets, which he planned for us to do ahead of the light trail, but we were unable to use them due to the lockdown. Since there were not many pandemic restrictions this year, we visited the museum before we went on the light trail. The museum has only been recently opened in the past year or two. Earlier in the day, we visited National Trust's Grey's Court to see the house decorated for Christmas.
December: The first weekend in December was another mini-break that I had organised as far back as late spring and consisted of seeing a few Christmas light trails and a few National Trust properties that had been decorated for the holidays. The first night was spent in Cheshire. On the way, the bloke and I visited Hanbury Hall and Wightwick Manor. Hanbury Hall was my favourite of the National Trust Christmas houses as it was decorated with a 1970s and 1980s party theme that was inspired by the tenants that lived there at the time and threw lavish parties. Wightwick Manor is a mansion built in the 1800s but was inspired by medieval interiors, and the property was decorated for that period of Christmas with a few fashionable dresses created and located around the property.
That first evening, we went to Bolesworth Castle Light Trail to see beautiful lights in the woodlands and sculptures, and we had a bottle of champagne and snacks on "Champagne Island" in the little dining bubbles that have become popular in the past couple of years.
On the second day, we spent the day at Fountains Abbey and Studley Royal Water Garden. This was our second ever visit, and we had a tour in the morning, followed by a quick lunch. In the afternoon, we walked back through the grounds to the abbey where we listened to the live choir music in the abbey. They sang a mixture of Christmas carols, and some of these were lesser-known carols from other countries. I stayed until it grew darker so that I could enjoy the abbey lit up, and it was really beautiful.
On the third day, we headed back down south and stopped off at Nostell to see the house decorated for Christmas, Coinsborough Castle, and Hardwick Hall. I'll be adding more posts in the coming weeks for additional places I've not yet published. The mansion at Nostell was decorated with a traditional Christmas with woodland theme, and we had to locate the animals in each of the rooms.
The final stop of the trip before heading home was Christmas at Belton House, an illuminated light trail around the National Trust property. I really enjoyed the wander around here and found it magical.
That brings us to Christmas. This year has not felt like Christmas at all for me, and I had to work through it up to the day without any time off, contrasting to my previous employer that did give us free days off. There was a lacklustre meal out on Christmas day and a trip to London to see the lights and decorations before the big day itself, but that was it. I really struggled to get into it this year with everything that has gone on. The bloke's brother and his family visited on Boxing Day. A couple of Christmas gifts were exchanged on Monday (as I was not ready on Christmas Day itself). I've since felt poorly, which is possibly an accumulation of many different things. For New Year's Eve, I will possibly be in bed before midnight because I really cannot bother.
Conclusion
At this time a year ago, I was grateful for my job and patient/hopeful that 2021 would bring some normality and enable me to start to think about travel abroad again. It's not quite there yet with the travel and normality, and my past employer turned out to mess me around, so I am lacking the stability I had started the year with. I had also planned to take better care of myself and to not work myself to death, but I failed in both respects this year. I leave 2021 in a worse place than I started.
At this point, I do not know what to say. I am at a total loss. The last few years, I have expressed in these "end of year" posts how I just want stability in my life. I am tired of focusing on work and my life being derailed because I have to find a new job, worrying about my contract extension renewal, or suffering a role that requires constant overtime. I want to feel settled. Last year at this time, I has just begun to feel settled in my job, but the pandemic and lockdowns was unsettling. Before the lockdowns had even ended, I'd received the dreaded news about my job. This is why I am not sure what to say. I just feel completely messed around.
I also worry about friends and family. COVID has taken friends and family. Besides the sickness and deaths, COVID has taken much more. It has taken away travel, visits to spend time with my friends and family, and it also (in part) took away the role at the company and any sense of stability.
In a lot of ways, I feel that I have given up hope. I feel disillusioned, and I feel betrayed. I am still not recovered from the wrong-ness dealt to me this year. This year ends, and next year starts on the feeling of being unsettled. This feeling is not going to go away anytime soon. I've got the first six months of 2022 to get through first, and then maybe everything will be different.
I would love to get to the place where I can plan things to look forward to. That requires the employer and the pandemic, so it is not in my hands, and I've begun to realise how little that I do/can control. It does not matter how hard I work or how much support and kindness I have given to others because I have worked bloody hard and have been professional and supportive. I'd worked more hours to help others. All I can do is live one day at a time and hope for the best to get through the next twelve months with a visit to see my family and friends before this time next year.
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